Latest Jokes

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's when I finally understood why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

I ran into my neighbor walking his 2 pit bulls. He told me he was going to the maul.

I hope I heard that correctly.

After surgery, the doctor said to the patient, "I am sorry, but I forgot a pair of scissors inside you. I need to..."

The patient quickly responded, "Oh don't bother doctor! If it is because of that, just tell me how much it cost and I will pay you back."

A young man joined the military. Soon after he got to boot camp he realized he’d made a big mistake. It must have taken a toll on him because soon enough the stress of boot camp had pushed the young man over the edge.

The recruit started riding a pretend motor scooter making motor sounds and beeping a pretend horn. The military decided to discharge the young man due to his instability. As the young man was leaving the base for the last time he rode his pretend motor scooter. When he got to the front gate he stopped and put down the pretend kick stand.

He turned off the pretend key and started to walk away. The guard said, "Hey, what about your motor scooter?"

The young man replied, "I only needed it to get me out of here, it’s all yours."