Latest Jokes

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I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I don't have the gift for it.

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CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |
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After an MCAT exam, a father asks his son, "How did it go son?"

Young man, looking rather reproachful, replied, "It went well dad. In fact, it went so well that I will retake it again next year."

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CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Veronica Sehnaz" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels.  His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital.  Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor.  

“MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?”  The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?” 

“MAGGIE!” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN DOCTOR!”

“And is this her first child?” questioned the doctor.

“NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”

9 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "tweetyr" |
$7.00 won 5 votes
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Burns: Do you like to love?
Allen: No.
Burns: Like to kiss?
Allen: No.
Burns: What do you like?
Allen: Lamb chops.
Burns: Lamb chops. Could you eat two big lamb chops alone?
Allen: Alone? Oh, no, not alone. With potatoes I could.

5 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "tweetyr" |