Latest Jokes

A ditzy girl was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.

"Here, this is how you do it," he said, as he easily skewered the olive.

"Big deal," she muttered. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."

Most people will say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

An engineer will say, "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

"What is the difference between a mechanical and civil engineer?" asked the incoming college freshman.

The professor replied, "Mechanical engineers design weapons and civil engineers design targets."

The flight attendant on the trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As the young man stepped forward, she playfully offered some to him.

He passed, pointing to the Airborne wings on his Army uniform. He explained, “The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.”