I went to buy a duvet.
I asked the shop assistant what filling should I have.
She said: ‘Get down.’
So I hit the deck.
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who went out to buy maps?
He came back with a tin of Spam.
What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
He got behind in his work.
Therapist: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?"
Me: "Can't say I do."
Therapist: "That's one of them!"