Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s office. “Why is your stomach so big?” he asks.
“I'm having a baby,” she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.”
“Is it a good baby?”
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.”
Shocked and surprised, the little boy asks, “Then why did you eat him?”
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.
About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.
Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two birds. The Momma bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.
"It's designed to adjust the child to live in today's world, ma'am," the shop assistant replied. "So basically, any way he tries to put it together is wrong."
A husband came home from work one evening and walked into the kitchen where his wife was cooking dinner. He looked into the pots on the stove and smelled their content.
"Is the Preacher coming for dinner," he asked.
"No, he isn't," his wife replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you've prepared a burnt offering. I just assumed something religious was going on."
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