Latest Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Your momma's so old, that in History class she just wrote down what she was doing.

It was an emotional day for me when my six-year-old twins headed off for their first day of school. Four-year-old Andrew and I accompanied them to the corner to wait for the bus. When it arrived and the boys climbed on and waved good-bye, I could no longer hold back my tears.

"Don't cry, Mommy," said Andrew reassuringly. "Maybe one day you'll get to ride in a school bus too!"

At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful coed and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many any "potential dates" at the party.

"Oh, I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to the party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?"

Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 25 in the city and 40 on the highway."