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Favorite this joke I woke up in the hotel this morning and the housekeeper was banging on the door, just banging away.
Finally, I had to get up and let her out.
Back in the day of open cockpits and stunt planes, an elderly couple went every year to the State Fair. Poppa always wanted to fly in the stunt plane, but mamma would always tell him no. "Ten dollars is ten dollars, we don't have that kind of money to waste," she would always say.
Each year was the same. One year, the stunt pilot heard poppa ask mamma if they could go up because they weren't getting any younger. The pilot told them he would not charge them the ten dollars if he took them up and he did not hear a word from either of them. Mamma agreed to the arrangement.
The pilot did not spare the spins and rolls. When he landed, he turned to poppa to tell him how proud he was of them, because they didn't open their mouths. He was shocked to find mamma was not in the plane. "Where's mamma?" he asked emphatically.
"Oh, she fell out."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because, ten dollars is ten dollars."
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: ''Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and will kill you.''
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: ''Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.''
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. ''Where are you?'' the man asked. ''Who are you?''
''I am your guardian angel,'' the voice answered.
''Oh yeah?'' the man asked. ''So where were you when I got married?''
An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.
"Yes," he replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shimmying up and down that drainpipe!"
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