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Favorite this joke There was a ventriloquist who had no work for six months. He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.
The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work." So this ventriloquist went home and hung outside his door a psychic sign.
An hour later a woman knocks on the door. "I want to talk to my deceased husband. How much will it cost?"
The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, $50. If he talks to you, $100. If you both talk to each other while I'm drinking coffee, that's $200."
A farmers wife is cooking. She says "I need a cup of molasses, but I ran out."
Farmers runs outside and returns with two dead moles.
Wife says, "I said a cup of molasses, not a couple of mole asses!"
The pediatric nurse entered the room, prepared to do the job of giving a shot to a little girl. Upon entering the examining room, little girl starting screaming, “NO! NO! NO!”
“Jessica,” her mother scolded her, “that is not polite behavior!”
The girl stopped briefly and then continued with her screaming, “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”
A grandma lovingly gives her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Afterwards, she noticed the little girl wiping her cheek.
“Are you wiping off my kiss?” she asked.
“No”, she smartly replied, somewhat embarrassed but quick on her feet, “I’m just rubbing it in!”
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