A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I want a grilled............... cheese please."
The waiter asks, "What's with the pause?"
The bear replies. "What do you mean, I'm a bear aren't I?
The young couple admired the scarecrow they saw along the road. "Look at that," said the girl. "Not a crow in sight."
The boy looked at the scarecrow and said, "Good job scarecrow!"
To their surprise the scarecrow replied. "Hay, it's in my jeans."
An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour.
"No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp without an alarm clock."
"Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?"
“I’d like two pork chops,” asked the woman to her butcher, “and make them lean.”
“Yes ma’am,” said the polite butcher, standing then on end. “Which way?”