Latest Jokes

An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour.

"No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp without an alarm clock."

"Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?"

“I’d like two pork chops,” asked the woman to her butcher, “and make them lean.”

“Yes ma’am,” said the polite butcher, standing then on end. “Which way?”

I tend to avoid funerals...

... I'm just not a mourning person.

One day, Edgar got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?"

He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class."

"Wow, my son is a genius! What was the question?"

"The question was, 'Who threw the eraser at the principal's head?'"