Latest Jokes

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Q: Why did Cain have no faith?

A: Because he wasn't Abel

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Have you ever wondered why the angel sits on top of the tree? Let me tell you the story.

One December 23rd, Santa was very busy supervising the elves as they finished making their toys for him to give the children. As the elves finished for the day, Santa pulled the shift leader aside, telling him to make certain the elves rose at 7AM so they could begin loading his sleigh.

He went home to have dinner with his wife. After dinner, he told her he was going to bed as tomorrow would be a long day. He asked his wife to wake him at 6AM and have his clothes laid out and his breakfast waiting. Then he goes to bed.

He wakes at 8:30AM. He jumps out of bed and rushes around the room the get his clothes. He begins to grow angry as he dresses. When he's dressed, he goes to the kitchen. There is no sign of his wife and no breakfast.

Growing more angry, he quickly pours himself a bowl of cereal which he eats as quickly as possible. Leaving the dirty bowl on the table, he goes out to his workshop to find no elves busily loading his sleigh.

He stands beside the empty sleigh, trying to get his anger under control when an angel walks up to him, dragging an evergreen tree behind her. Expecting Santa to be his usual jolly self, she asks, "Santa, what do you want me to do with this?

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CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Kattie McKinsey" |
1 votes
 

A man and his wife had been arguing all day. As evening approached, they decided it would be best if they didn't speak for a while.

The evening passes and as they are reading themselves for bed, the husband remembers that he has an early morning meeting. Not wanting to be the first to break their silence, he writes a note, asking his wife to wake him at 6 AM, then leaves it on her makeup table where she is certain to see it.

He goes to bed with a smile on his face, knowing that when she woke him, she wold speak first and loose the argument.

He wakes in the morning and is angered to see that it is after 9. He stalks to his wife's makeup table to see if she had seen his note.

Next to the note he had written was a note she wrote. It said, "Wake up!"

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Kattie McKinsey" |
1 votes

A man was complaining that his wife refused to make his morning coffee.

She shrugged and said. "In the Bible, we are told the man is to make the coffee."

He stares at her for a moment before informing her that he had never heard such a passage.

She smiled, rose and retrieved her Bible from the living room. She leafed through it for a moment before laying it on the table in front of him.

He glanced at it and sighs, seeing that she opened the Bible to: "HEBREWS".

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posted by "Kattie McKinsey" |