A priest and a cab driver went to heaven.
The priest was given fifty bags of gold and a nice house.
The cab driver was given the same but also a boat, a lake and a box of diamonds.
The priest asked St. Peter, "Hey I was a priest, how come I don't get a box of diamonds or a lake or a boat?"
St. Peter said, "We go by results. During your sermons people slept, during his cab rides people prayed."
A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a collect telegram which read: "I am perfectly well."
A week later, the joker received a heavy parcel...collect...on which he had to pay considerable charges. Upon opening it, he found a big block of concrete which had this message:
"This is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind."