Latest Jokes

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Q: What's the difference between Outlaws and In-laws?

A: Outlaws are wanted.

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posted by "Foxie" |
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A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner.

The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee.

The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full.

After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, "How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?"

The man says, "Two's fine."

She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. "And cream?" she asks.

The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, "You wouldn't dare!"

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posted by "GJ Winkler" |
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The city boy goes to countryside to visit his uncle. After the sun goes down, the boy hears strange, another-world howling. He gets frightened and runs to his uncle. "Uncle, uncle, there are werewolves!"

"That's rubbish, boy, ain't no such thing".

"'Then, there must be man-eating wolves".

"No, we haven't got those buddies, either."

"What is this sound, then?" the boy asks.

"They are coyotes".

"Coyotes? What are those?"

"They look a lot like dogs. In fact, ya can consider them a kind of dog."

The boy wants to find out more: "Why are they making that frightening noise?"

"See, nephew, we ain't got many trees around here. We got cactuses!"

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "GJ Winkler" |
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A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it."

The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and an Asian face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it."

Then a third boy piped up, "In the bathroom we have a flat, square box with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams,'OH MY GOD!'"

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posted by "GJ Winkler" |