Latest Jokes

A cop pulls a guy over for speeding. The guy tries to defend himself by saying, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."

The Cop replies, "Ever go fishing?"

"Yeah."

"Ever catch ALL the fish?"

One week before her wedding, a mother pulls aside her daughter (and bride-to-be). She says, "I will now give you the advice that has been passed down from generation to generation, from woman to woman."

The daughter listened attentively, curious as to what the advice would be.

The mom continued, "Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him for the whole weekend."

A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand.

“Mommy, what happened to him?” the little boy asked.

“He died and went to heaven,” she replied.

The child thought for a moment and said, “And God threw him back down?”

My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.

The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't.

"Well," she replied, "the one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."