Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 3 votes

After studying all night for his zoology final, David, a senior, enters class confident that he will conquer the test. He takes his seat and looks around at all the panicked faces around him. "I got this," he says to himself, pulling out his lucky pen.

The professor calls for attention and only then does David see the six stuffed birds covered with canvas with only their feet showing. The professor says, "Identify the birds. You have the entire class time. Begin."

"This is impossible," says David.

"Nothing is impossible," replies the professor.

Little by little the other students finish their exam and turn in their papers. David looks down at his blank sheet and shakes his head in disgust as the anger of defeat bubbles forth. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I studied all night!" He crumples his test and throws it on the floor. "THIS IS THE DUMBEST TEST I HAVE EVER SEEN!" He jabs his finger in the professor's direction but says nothing, and storms toward the exit.

The professor calls out, "What is your name young man?"

In response, David spins around, hikes up his pants and thrusts his foot at the professor. "You tell me!"

3 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
posted by "Roz" |
1 votes

I said to the gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?”

She said, “How flexible are you?”

I replied, “I'm pretty flexible, but I can’t make Tuesdays.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "ERS" |
1 votes

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them."

Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.
Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."

The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this one!" she exclaimed.

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

"What's the matter?" she called out.

"My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered.

"Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |