One day a green grape was walking down the road when he saw a purple grape, the green grape then started hollering, "Breathe dude Breathe!"
Johnny entered class and was surprised by a pop quiz for which he was not prepared.
He answered all ten questions with, "Only God knows."
Grade: God 100 - Johnny 0
Why do they call going to the bathroom "taking a dump" when you're actually giving it and not taking it?
Three students all have dinner together, a sophisticate, a vulgarian, and a foreigner. They return to their shared dorm rooms that night and when they wake up in the morning they all have painful gas. The sophisticate says,
"Zounds! I just broke wind with such intense vigor my anus hurt!"
The vulgarian says,
"Crap, dude! That fart hurt my butt-hole!"
The foreigner who would have understood,
"Wow, stinky pain!" tries to fit in by saying,
"Broke fart intense butt-hole!"