There are two flies on the ceiling. One fly says to the other fly, "Don't look now, but your man's open!"
A man parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on.
A police constable stops him and asks, "Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know it is a VIP road and all parliamentarians and senators pass from here?"
Man replied, "Don't you worry about it, I locked my bicycle!"
Q. What day do you sneeze the most?
A. Ah Tuesday
I asked my friend , "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?"
He said "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."
I asked "Can you explain?"
He said "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."
Still not convinced, i asked him "Give me some examples".
He said "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it "
I asked "Then, what is your role?"
He said "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether Bodoland should be formed or not, whether Dhoni should retire from Cricket , Whom should Salman Khan Marry. etc etc. and do you know, my wife; NEVER, objects to any of these decisions...