Meet Shane, the Greatest Walmart Employee...
1. Shane, Quit offering extended Warranties on the fried chicken----Management
2. Shane, stop asking "Is that your final answer?" and offering to let them phone a friend after each order----Management
3. Shane, Quit putting price tags on the Deli equipment and trying to sell them to customers---Management
4. Shane, stop implying Walmart keeps the "Good Stuff" in the back----Management
5. Shane, I don't know what "Swinecraft" is but ham cannot be sold as a building material---Management
6. Shane, THE DELI IS NOT an appropriate setting to practice your ventriloquism, please stop making puppets out of the paper bags-----Management
7. Shane, STOP putting "Stoner Approved" seals on the fried chicken----Management
8. Shane, STOP putting out samples labeled as "Mystery Meats"----Management
9. Shane, STOP putting "Some assembly required" stickers on the 8-piece chickens----Management
10. Shane, any FREE samples you offer must come from the deli department, not from electronics------ Management
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
Little Johnny interrupted, "My dad looked back once, while he was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and he turned into a telephone pole!"
One day a husband says to his wife, “Today is a fine day!” Next day he says it again. “Today is a fine day.” Again next day, he says same thing, “Today is a fine day.”
Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband, “Since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?”
"Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you."
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s office. “Why is your stomach so big?” he asks.
“I'm having a baby,” she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.”
“Is it a good baby?”
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.”
Shocked and surprised, the little boy asks, “Then why did you eat him?”