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Mable and Faye are sitting in their retirement home discussing the little old men who lived there.

Mable says, “I sure am lonely since my husband died…I wish I had a boyfriend, but am not sure how to catch the attention of the geezers around here”.

Faye says, “These gentlemen are lonely also, and many haven’t had any romance in their lives for decades. I bet if they thought they could get a kiss you’d have their attention”.

So Mable starts walking the halls, and comes to the first room and knocks. A little old man answers, and she says “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but he replies, “No thanks” and shuts the door.

She doesn't get discouraged, and heads to the next room. “I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” but again, this man is not interested. This continues for several attempts, and when she finally gets to the room at the end of the hall again she knocks. A little old man answers the door.

“I’m offering up super kisses, you interested?” she asks. He replies, “I don’t want a kiss, but I’ll take the soup”.

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Princessa22" |
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As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Foxie" |
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There was a couple married for 50 years and on the 50th anniversary the wife saw the husband crying and she told him, "Honey I never knew that after 50 years you would still love me the same way you did 50 years ago."

The husband looks at the wife and asks her, "Honey, do you remember 50 years ago when your father caught us behind the barn naked?"

And the wife says yes.

The man replies do you remember what your father told me that day?

She replies no.

The husband replies he told me that if I don't marry you he would have me locked up in prison for 50 years.

The wife looks at the husband and says "and?"

So the husband replies, "HOLLY COW! I could of been a free man by now!"

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Foxie" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

4 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Super Dave" |