Latest Jokes

Johnny's teacher paid a visit to his house one day. When little Johnny opened the door, she asked, "Are your father and mother in, Mr. Morton?"

"They was in, but they is out now," he answered.

The teacher gasped, "Why, Mr. Johnny Morton, it is 'They were in, but they are out now.' Where's your grammar?"

"She's upstairs taking her nap."

Protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

A novelty store owner called a recent customer. "Mr. Jones? This is Mr. Peters, the owner of Peter's Novelties. Remember that boomerang you bought the other day? You paid for your purchase with a check, and unfortunately the check came back."

"You're lucky," replied the customer. "My boomerang didn't."

A man was driving down a country road and he was passed by what seemed to be a chicken that had three legs. The man sped up and followed the chicken, who turned down a long driveway leading to an old farm house. The man pulled up next to the house and out came a farmer, his wife, and their son.

The man said, "Did you see that, a three legged chicken!"

The farmer replied, "Oh yes, we once had a three legged chicken hatch so we bred it because all of us like to have a chicken leg at dinner and this solves the problem."

The man scratched his head and asked, "So how does it taste?"

The farmer replied, "Don't know, we ain't caught one yet."