Latest Jokes

"Look! There's Linda Rondstadt!"

"Where? Where is she?"

"Right there! Here she comes, running full speed, right at you!"

"I still don't see her."

"You idiot! She just Blue Bayou!"

When I was a teenager, I worked as a bagger for the local supermarket. One of the rules there was baggers cannot accept tips when helping people bring groceries to their car. One day I was putting groceries in an old man's car. When he was finished he said, "Here young man. I want you to have a picture of your uncle George."

What it really was, was a dollar bill. Thinking quickly, I pocketed the 'picture'. I then asked him, "Have any pictures of my grandfathers Ulysses and/or Benjamin?"

A little old lady was driving the wrong way down a one-way street and was stopped by a cop.

“Didn’t you see the arrows?” he asked.

“Arrows? I didn’t even see the Indians!” she exclaimed.