Latest Jokes

GOLF, n.

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

[2] a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.

[3] a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red.

[4] a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort.

[5] a game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.



GOLF CART, n.

[1] A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.



GOLFER, n.

[1] a person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five;

[2] a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely.

"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree... ...and then I paint the target around it."