Latest Jokes

Jim, a fireman came home from work one day and told Barb, his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the firestation.

Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets
Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the poll
Bell 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

From now on when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, i want you to jump in bed. And when I say Bell 3, we are going to make love all night."

The next night Jim came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!" Barb promptly took all her clothes off. When Jim yelled, "Bell 2!" Barb jumped into bed. When Jim yelled, "Bell 3!" they began making love.

After a few minutes Barb yelled, "Bell 4!"

"What the hell is Bell 4?" asked Jim.

"Roll out more hose!", Barb replied, "You're nowhere near the fire!!"

The doughnut is the saddest dessert...

... it just can't find its inner piece.

Two friends went for an interview for the same job. One was educated and the other wasn't, so they agreed to help each other.They agreed that the educated one would go first and when he was done, he would give the other the answers to all the questions. The first guy's interview started:

QN 1: "When was Tanzania's independence?"
GUY 1: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961 due to many reasons."

QN 2: "Who brought independence to Tanzania?"
GUY 1: "So many participated but it was Mwalimu Nyerere who finalized it."

QN 3: "It's believed that in planet Mars, there is life... is it true?"
GUY 1: "So many people say so, but it has not been scientifically proven."

When he left the interview room, he went straight to his uneducated friend and gave him all the answers. Second guy's interview also started:

QN 1: "When were you born?"
GUY 2: "It was supposed to be 1960 but it was postponed to 1961."

QN 2: "What!! Who is your father?"
GUY 2: "So many participated but it was Mr. Nyere who finalized it."

QN 3: "Oh My! Are u CRAZY???"
GUY 2: "So many say so but it has not been scientifically proven!"

Four men were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a gentleman walked up to the guy on the tee and handed him a card. It read "I am deaf and dumb. May I please play through?"

The guy says, "Get out of here! Some people use any excuse to get ahead! Go away!"

The deaf and dumb gentleman backed away and waited until the four guys were on their way down the fairway. The original four finally made it to the green, and it was the turn of the guy who yelled at the deaf and dumb gentleman to putt. He was lining it up, when suddenly 'Whack'! He got nailed on the back of the head by a ball and knocked unconscious.

When he woke up he was lying in a hospital bed, and the first person he saw was the deaf and dumb gentleman, holding up FORE fingers.