Latest Jokes

A young Navy officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral.

However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" The Master Chief answered, "Why yes. I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be short one ear." The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, a combat veteran and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, you wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear."

How are people in Dubai and Abu Dhabi different?

The ones in Dubai do NOT watch the Flintstones.

But those in Abu Dhabi Do!

There is a rookie pilot and a co-pilot and they are coming in for a landing. The pilot says, "Damn that runway is small, give me 1/4 flaps."

As they get closer the pilot says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me 1/2 flaps."

As they're coming in closer the pilot again says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me FULL FLAPS!"

After they land the plane safely the pilot says, "That's the smallest runway I've ever landed on."

Then the co-pilot says, "Yes it is, but look it how wide it is."

An indian man was walking down the road when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell to the ground. And ambulance was called and within minutes the ambulance arrived. The victim was taken into the ambulance and it sped off. In the ambulance the victim being a religious man started to repeat "hari om, hari hom, ari om"

The ambulance drove as fast as it could siren sounding and lights flashing. Finally it arrived! They took the victim down and pushed him to the door and rang the doorbell. A woman appeared and was shocked to see her husband on stretcher and inquired what happened. The medical officer explained what happened to her. She screamed," why didn't you take him to the hospital!?"

The medical officer explained, " we tried too but he kept repeating "hurry home hurry home hurry home'. So we took him right to his home.'

The wife was furious and exclaimed, "you idiot! He was praying our hindu prayer "hari om hari om!'