Latest Jokes

4 votes

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said, "The cat just died."

She burst into tears and said, "How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof. Tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg. Then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?"

"She is playing on the roof."

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Nwosu Franklin" |
0 votes

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on them.

How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way.

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

A cop pulls over a lady for speeding and gives her a ticket saying, "That's $150 and two points."

"Two points? What do I do with the points?" she asks.

"Well," says the cop, "when you get twelve, you get a bike!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?"

So, they all went to the back fence to check it out. The first contractor took out his tape measure, did some measuring and said, "Well, I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Next was the second contractor. He also took out his tape measure, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Without so much as moving, the third contractor said, "$2,700."

The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy doing it for $700."

5 votes

posted by "Leibel" |