Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 9 votes

I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?"

Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."

We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.

9 votes

1 votes

San Francisco ballet just announced that Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors will be appearing in their upcoming production of The Nutcracker.

1 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "Robert Hill" |
2 votes

I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was putting up a hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.

I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything. I finally decided that I should help.

It didn't take the three of us very long to get her handbag.

2 votes

posted by "Pucks mom" |
1 votes

I had just pulled over someone for driving under the influence when another car pulled up behind us. I stopped what I was doing and ventured back to see if the driver needed assistance.

“No, I don’t need any help,” he said, reeking of booze. Then, pointing to the flashing cherry top on the roof of my cruiser, he continued, “I just stopped for the red light.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Pucks mom" |