I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?"
Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."
We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.
San Francisco ballet just announced that Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors will be appearing in their upcoming production of The Nutcracker.
I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was putting up a hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.
I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything. I finally decided that I should help.
It didn't take the three of us very long to get her handbag.
I had just pulled over someone for driving under the influence when another car pulled up behind us. I stopped what I was doing and ventured back to see if the driver needed assistance.
“No, I don’t need any help,” he said, reeking of booze. Then, pointing to the flashing cherry top on the roof of my cruiser, he continued, “I just stopped for the red light.”