Latest Jokes

5 votes

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”

“Last night at 11:00,” I said.

“And the tires were on it then?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Heaven" |
6 votes
 

Trying to disguise his voice, Carl calls his ex-wife and asks to speak to himself.

Jody, his former wife says, "Carl, look, we are not married anymore -- quit bothering me!"

The next day, Carl calls again, resulting in the same sequence of events.

The following day though when he calls, his ex-wife says, "Listen. I told you we're divorced, split, it's over -- period! We're divorced. Why do you keep calling here?"

"Well Jody, it's just that I can't hear that often enough."

6 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
7 votes

Little Johnny's mother was in the hospital, and he was visiting to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg.

"Hello," he said. "How long you been here?"

"Oh, about two weeks."

"May I see your baby," he then ask.

"Why I haven't got a baby," the woman replied.

"Gee, you are slow. My mama's been here just two days and she's got one."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Everleigh" |
7 votes

Commuting to New York city a lady seated herself in the train that contained a solitary traveling salesman. After a while the salesman said, politely, "Excuse me, miss, but..."

"If you speak or annoy me, I'll pull the train cord!" snapped the lady.

Whenever he attempted to speak, the lady threatened to give the alarm. At last the train slowed up at a station and the salesman rose to his feet. "I don't care whether you like it or not," he said. "but I want that torn bag of strawberries you've been sitting on for the last 20 miles!"

7 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Everleigh" |