A pessimist and an optimist were on a hike and they came across railroad tracks at a tunnel.
The Pessimist looked in and said, "I see a light and the train is coming."
The Optimist looked and said, "Don't worry, we have time."
The Engineer operating the train said, "Why are those morons still standing on the track?"
Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."
Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."
The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from."
Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...