A guy gets shipwrecked and washes up on a beach.
The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees. He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn dark red, too.
"Oh no!" he says. "I've been marooned!"
A well known speaker lectured to the members of the literary society. After his address the secretary approached him with a check. This he politely refused, saying that it might be devoted to some charitable purpose.
"Would you mind if we added it to our special fund? " she ask.
"Not at all," said the speaker. "What is the special fund for?"
"To allow us to get a better speaker for next year."
Little Johnny ran into the room sobbing as through his heart would break.
"Whats the problem Johnny?" asked his mother.
"Oh, daddy was hanging a picture and he dropped it on his toe," replied Johnny.
"Why, that's nothing to cry about. You should be laughing at that," said his mother.
"I did," Johnny replied.