A man walks into a piano store and says, "I would like to buy a hairy piano." Perplexed, the sales clerk asked, "Why do you want a hairy piano?!" Nonchalantly, the customer responded, "Well, the last piano store only had Baldwins."
Q. What game encourages drinking and driving?
A. Golf
Don't worry if the end of the world is tomorrow! It is already tomorrow in Australia.
A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, "I'm so old. I'm so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment."
Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, "Damn, do you have good eyesight!"