A woman is a complicated creature. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A. When it’s time to revert to childhood, he’s already there.
A man and his dog walk into a bar and sit on bar stools. The man says I want a Bud. The dog says I want a very dry Martini with three olives.
A guy at a nearby table says to his friend, "My God, did you hear that?"
The friend says, "So what, lots of people like three olives in their Martinis."