Latest Jokes

How many bureaucrats does it take to put in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other inserts the bulb into the water faucet.

Unbeknownst to Harold, the local tax collector, he was knocking on the door of a house inhabited by cannibals. A woman answered the door.

"I'm here to talk to a person named Stewart. He's a bit late on his tax payment."

"Actually, we just moved in with him recently. He can't see you now," she replied.

"Can I wait for him?"

"Sure! And while you're waiting, how would you like some dinner? You look very hungry. I've made up a delicious array of meat and vegetables simmered in a thick, seasoned broth. Sort of like goulash."

"This is highly inappropriate, but it does smell delicious. I'll have just a little." After finishing his meal, Harold says, "Absolutely scrumptious! Can Stewart see me now?"

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave."

"But I was here to meet Stewart."

"Don't worry about meeting Stew. Go out to your car and give yourself a couple of hours. Stew will be right out!"

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

A delinquent student returns a book to the library, bangs it on the counter and yells, “I read this entire novel! It is badly written with different handwritings, contains too many names of people and no story at all. Take your book and note that I would not pay any fine for late return!"

The Librarian looks up and responds, “Idiot, so you are the one who took the Attendance book?"