Latest Jokes

Billy always had problems with math so he used his fingers and toes for adding and subtracting. One day he didn't have enough fingers or toes to figure out the problem. His best friend took off his shoes and held up his fingers so Billy could figure it out. The moral of the story is that in times of need, you can always 'count on' your best friend!

If you are always late, does that make you reliable?

A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then they could only say 2 words.

The first seven years passed and they went into a small room. His 2 word were "too cold".

The next seven years passed and they took him back into the small room and his 2 words were "bad food".

The next seven years passed they took him back into the small room and his 2 words were "I quit".

"Good," they said, "all you have done is complain."

A young couple was expecting a visit from the pastor of their church. They wanted everything to go smoothly, but their two year old son was just getting the hang of potty training. He was at the stage where he would announce at the top of his voice, "I gotta pee," when he had to go to the bathroom.

His father, worried that this might be embarrassing when the minister came to call, instructed the child, "Don't shout that you've got to pee. Whisper!"

That evening the pastor makes his visit. He's there a very long time and the two year old is on one foot and the other.

Finally, the minister asks him, "What's the matter, son?"

The child looks at his dad and says, "I've gotta whisper!"

Pastor says, "It's all right, child. Whisper in my ear."