The drunk defendant appears yet again before the tired judge. They both look at each other.
The judge speaks first, "You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years."
The defendant interrupts the judge, "Can I help it if you can't get promoted?"
Q: Why can't idiots make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't get a quart of water to stay in the envelope
Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from North Carolina, were sitting' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," said Bubba.
"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
"Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Bubba.
A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"