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Favorite this joke President: I can't sign this bill, it's completely absurd. If I turn this into law it will raise taxes by 5 percent and extend the work week to six days instead of five.
Congress: Please note Mr. President on page 5027, under subsection 22, clause B, it exempts all members of the executive and the judicial branches as well as congress for life. Plus we all get a 50 percent raise and enhanced retirement benefits.
President: Perfect, got a pen?
Granddaughter: It’s March 14th grandpa, national “pi” day.
Grandpa: I love pie!
Granddaughter: Not that kind of pie grandpa, I’m talking about a formula!
Grandpa: Back in my day we called it a recipe!
Granddaughter: Graaaand Paaaa, not that, it’s a mathematical formula, you know an equation.
Grandpa: That’s the problem these days, everyone makes things so complicated. In my day we used things like cups, teaspoons and tablespoons. We didn’t need math if we wanted to bake a pie.
Granddaughter: Oh, I see your point! So what would you like, apple or cherry pie?
Grandpa: Finally, a young person who actually understand things.
Grandpa: I can't find the send button on my cell phone.
Granddaughter: I see the problem grandpa, you're using a calculator.
Grandpa: It's always a calculated risk doing things without my reading glasses.
Granddaughter: No wonder things didn't add up.
Grandpa: Very "Punny" young lady, you're as bad as I am!
Granddaughter: And exactly how did you arrive at that equation?
Grandpa: Time for my nap, I rest my case!
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy...
When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.
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