Latest Jokes

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Being at my college often meant having your umbrella taken without your knowledge and if lucky returned during the rainy season. So I was pleasantly surprised when my roommate showed me an umbrella and asked me if it was mine. My umbrella was a brand called "Happy".

So I told him, "Check if it's Happy."

He promptly proceeded to open and close the umbrella twice in quick succession. He looked at me and gravely concluded, "Doesn't sound so happy."

Patient: I keep dreaming about monkeys. Every night, nothing but monkeys, monkeys, monkeys.

Psychiatrist: How does that make you feel?

Patient: If you give me a banana, I'll tell you.

"Did you know Job spoke when he was a very small baby?"

"Where does it say that?"

"It says, 'Job cursed the day he was born.'"