Latest Jokes

The Parish father passed away. He left two hundred dollars to each nun in his will. The nuns were each deciding how best to serve others with the money they had received. Sister Mary Catherine noticed a man in tattered clothing sitting on the curb across the street. She walked up to the man, handed him the 200 dollars and said, “God's Speed.”

A week later a well dressed man came to the Parish and asked for Sister Mary Catherine. She soon arrived and noticed it was the very man she had given the two hundred dollars. The man handed her a fist full of cash and said, "Here's your share! I went to the track as you suggested and God's Speed took first place at twenty eight to one."

A hiker fell off a cliff and was hurt so badly he had to be air lifted to the hospital. They were wheeling his gurney to the emergency room when a nurse asked, "Are you allergic to anything?"

The man answered, “Heights.”

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy did we go 'round. Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.

Guess I must have won that silly argument.