A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.
The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"
The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"
Told my wife I was going to start smoking pot.
She said if I did she was going to leave me.
That's proof that it gets rid of aches and pains!
I said to my wife: "When I die I'd like to die having sex."
She replied: “At least it’ll be quick.”
A small boy in a farming town was leading a donkey passed by an army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the boy.
"What are you holding on to your brother so tight for?"
"So he won't join the army," the youngster replied with blinking an eye.