Two guys went to a local pancake house that served real Vermont maple syrup but charged extra for it.
So the guys went to a supermarket, bought their own Vermont maple syrup, and brought it to the pancake house.
They didn't want to get caught, so they were forced to pass the bottle between them... syrupticiously.
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"
The cat replies, "Um, I guess I'm a gnome."