Scientific Golf facts:
New golf balls have a strong attraction to water, and the power of the attraction is directly proportionate to how much the balls cost.
With golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the quick groups are always behind you.
Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly, and the golfers lie well.
Golf balls are like eggs...
They are both white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to go out and buy more.
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one...
But when I went through her drawers and found a nurse's uniform, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I changed my mind.
I figure if she can't hold on to a job, she's not the one for me.