Latest Jokes

A struggling zoo's main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can't afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week.

He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see the human like gorilla.
After a few months his popularity begins to wane so he decides to raise the stacks. He climbs out of his enclosure and dangles from a tree in the lion exhibit but he loses his grip and falls.

Scared he begins to yell for help, "Somebody help!"

With this the lion pounces on top of him and whispers, "Shut up or you'll get us both fired!"

My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.

I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"

She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."

"No, no it doesn't," I said.

I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store...

Clothes, but no cigar.

Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."

Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"

Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."