Latest Jokes

Last night, while my wife was asleep I decided to write algebraic terms all over her.

You should have seen the expression on her face!

Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion.

When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating...

"If I don't eat, I don't pay!"

Little Johnny's father sees him crying and worriedly asks what's wrong. "Oh," Johnny sniffles. "I lost a nickel."

"There, there, son," his father says kindly. "I'll give you a nice new nickel." He then reaches into his wallet, takes out a nickel, and gives it to Johnny.

Despite his father's kindness, Johnny only cries harder. "Say, what's wrong now, son?" his father asks, very perplexed.

"Now I wish I'd said I lost a quarter!"

A man in a hunter's outfit enters a butcher's shop. "I would like to buy two undressed ducks, please."

"I'm very sorry," the butcher replies. "But I'm afraid we're fresh out of ducks. I can sell you a couple of fresh chickens instead if you like."

"Chickens!" the hunter exclaims. "I can't go home and tell my wife I bagged a couple of chickens!"