Latest Jokes

To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 30-30 rule.

After 30 minutes of work, quit your job and buy a 30 acre farm in the middle of nowhere.

Lady at hat shop: "I would like to buy the hat with the red apple, yellow bananas and purple grapes, please.

Cashier: "Certainly, ma'am, would you care for a hat box?"

Lady: "No thank you, I'll just eat it here."

Little boy: "Mommy, what happens when a car gets so old and rusty that it won't move anymore?"

Mom: "Someone sells it to your father."

A man is asking a farmer about his two cows.

Man: About how much milk do you get from them in a day?

Farmer: Which one, the brown one or the black one?

Man: The brown one.

Farmer: About a half gallon a day.

Man: And the black one?

Farmer: About a half gallon a day.

Man (looking puzzled): Ok.. what do you feed them?

Farmer: Which one?

Man: The brown one.

Farmer: She eats grass.

Man: And the black one?

Farmer: She eats grass, too.

Man (becoming annoyed): Why do you keep asking me to specify which cow when the answers are the same?

Farmer: Because the brown cow is mine.

Man: Oh, and the black one?

Farmer: It’s mine, too.