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Favorite this joke After a diner had finished his meal at a restaurant, the waiter brought him the bill, which read,
Omelete: $2.00
Tea: $.50
Take this back," the diner said, "And rewrite it as omelette with two T's." The waiter obliges, as he takes the bill and leaves. A few moments later, he returns with a new bill, reading:
Omelete: $2.00
2 teas: $1.00
A diner at a restaurant is becoming very impatient with his slow waiter. "Excuse me," he says to the waiter as he passes by. "Have you been to the zoo?"
"Why no," the waiter replies.
"Well, you might enjoy it," the diner replies. "You'd get a real charge out of watching the sloths dash around."
For his birthday, Little Johnny's parents gave him a bowl of goldfish. His mother carefully explains to him how much responsibility comes with owning a pet and tells him to make sure he remembers to give the fish the care they need every day.
Johnny is responsible with the fish for about one week, after which he begins forgetting to look after them, leaving his parents to feed the fish and clean the tank. After a couple of days, Johnny's mom and dad bring the issue up to him.
"Now Johnny," says his mother. "You have to be more responsible."
"Do you know how many times those fish would have died if we hadn't been there?" his father adds.
"Uhm, I don't know," Johnny replies. "Once?"
Teacher: "I have went. That's wrong isn't it?"
Little Johnny: "Yes ma'am."
Teacher: "Why is it wrong?"
Little Johnny: "Because you ain't went yet."
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