Latest Jokes

Patient 1: "Why did you run away from the operation table?"

Patient 2: "The nurse was repeatedly saying 'don't get nervous', 'don't be afraid', 'be strong', 'this is a small operation only', things like that."

Patient 1: "So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?"

Patient 2: "She was talking to the surgeon!"

I can spot an innie and an outie belly button on the beach from a mile away. ..

That's because I graduated with honors from the U.S Navel Academy.

When I stepped on the scale at my doctor’s office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds.

“Why don’t you just take off that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s aide as she made a notation on my chart.

A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart.

“I see you’ve lost weight,” he said. “You’re down to... 14 pounds???”

When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty.

"On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?"

She shook her head. "Oh, I don’t know. I’m not good with math."