"Darling, in the moonlight your teeth are like pearls."
"Oh really! And when were you in the moonlight with Pearl?"
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out...
Good news is I can usually sedate him with three or four cupcakes.
What is the difference between a well dressed man riding a bike and a man in a suit riding a unicycle?
One wheel!
Why does a scuba diver fall off the boat backwards?
Because if he fell frontwards he'd still be in the boat!