Latest Jokes

A newly married couple was having breakfast at their new apartment when the next door neighbor hung out laundry that appeared to still be dirty.

The new wife commented to her husband that their neighbor did not how to properly do laundry, how to put in correct amount of bleach. detergent, etc. She made this comment every Monday for the next month. Finally, one day, the neighbor's wash appeared to be perfectly clean. The new wife commented on this and said the whole load looked really good.

The husband then replied, "Honey, I got up early today and washed our windows."

A guy was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend came to visit him.

The guy struggles to tell his friend, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."

"What does she read?" the friend asks.

"My life insurance policy."

A Pastor said to a six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

I am not liking the man I have become...

It's not a good sign when I answer Dora before my toddler does.