Latest Jokes

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

What do you call twelve bouncers all in the same Manhattan bar?

The New York Knicks

Why are bananas bad getaway drivers?

They are in such a hurry to split and they peel out.

What is a clear conscience?

A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory!