Latest Jokes

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, she makes cars slow down.

The first-time flier was very nervous as he buckled his seat belt before takeoff. He turned to the woman in the next seat and asked, "About how often do jetliners like this crash?"

She thought a moment and replied, "Usually, just once."

Jim: My older brother Dave crashed his car into a tree going forty miles an hour.

Troy: Wow! I didn't know trees could move that fast!

Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around apples for snack time. "Here, Little Johnny, have an apple."

"I don't freakin' want one," declared Johnny.

The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny's mother and scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day. When Little Johnny's mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind the curtain until snack time came around. As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him, "Here Little Johnny. It's time for your apple."

"I don't freakin' want one," stated Little Johnny again.

The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother, "See? Did you hear what he said?"

"So?" said his mother, "Don't freakin' give him one."