Latest Jokes

(Dentist) This is going to pinch a little.

(Patient) I love the way you guys substitute words like 'pinch' for 'pain'.

(Dentist) You're right. Hang on to your chair, this is going to hurt like hell.

You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again"?

"I am 78," the man said.

"78!" remarked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."

"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad, she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained.

"What does that have to do with it?” asked the doctor.

"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

Father Pedro was called to a house to attempt to expel an evil spirit from an elderly woman. He brought an assistant pastor to help with the procedure. The woman's daughter answered the door and motioned to where her mother was sitting. The Father walked over to the woman, waved a cross, and shouted, "Out, demon!"

He then tore off his robe, revealing running shoes and jogging shorts. Then, he rushed out the door and ran a quick mile around the block. Returning to the house and donning his robe, he went over to the woman and shouted, "Out, you filthy devil!"

And again, after removing his priest's outfit, he was out the door to run another mile. The old woman's daughter was confused about the priest's behavior and asked the assistant pastor, "What in the world is going on here?"

To which the pastor answered, "Oh, that's just the way Father Pedro exorcises!"