Latest Jokes

If some people said what they thought, they'd be speechless.

I told my kids I never want to 
live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from 
a bottle.

So they unplugged my 
computer and threw out my wine.

My eleven month old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”

I looked at my daughter and said, “Young lady, what are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”

My wife didn't find it as amusing as I did.

A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.

The Photon replies, "No I'm traveling light."