Latest Jokes

I woke up this morning with a string tied around my finger and I haven’t a clue why I put it there...

I better check my notes, it might be something important!

Now if I could just remember where I put my notes...

Now that I'm getting older I wonder how I can still contribute to society even after I’m gone...

In checking my options it looks like I’ll still be able to donate by body to science, science fiction that is.

A boy with a pea shooter, ran out of ammunition, and discovering a box of laxative pills, tried one in his blow gun. To his great joy, it fit.

There was a boarding house near by, and every Wednesday noon a big pan of custard was placed upon the window sill to cool. From his vantage point in the window of another house, the boy shot all the pills into the custard.

The boy soon found out that he was an expert marksman and the custom of custard on Wednesday quickly passed into history at the boarding house.

Two elderly ladies were discussing their "elderly" issues.

"You're in the grocery store, Ethel," Gladys begins, "and the urge suddenly comes upon you. You go into the woman's bathroom, and the only stall is filthy, a total mess. You go to the family bathroom, and find the door is locked. What do you do?"

Ethel thinks for a minute, then replies, "Depends."