My wife claims I'm a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball.
I told her she's way off base!
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he never-lands.
Know a sure way to bug your wife or girlfriend?
When they ask you that loaded question, "How do I look?", just say, "With your eyes."